Celebration of Life

Selah James Bennett

Coats, NC—Selah James Bennett, of 184 Irbin Drive passed away peacefully in her mommy’s arms on Tuesday, October 30, 2012 at UNC Hospital in Chapel Hill.  Selah was born at 2:26pm on Monday, October 29, 2012 and saw the eyes of Jesus at 1:04am on Tuesday morning.  She is the infant daughter of Jason and Brittany Bennett of Coats, North Carolina.  She is the granddaughter of David Bennett and Connie Bennett of Lillington, North Carolina and Bobby and Mitzi White of Kinston, North Carolina.  She is also the niece of Jonathan and Kimberly Bennett of Lillington, North Carolina, and Link and Christy Neal of Los Angeles, California and the cousin of Lily, Lincoln, and Lando Neal and Zane Bennett.

In Selah’s passing we felt God’s presence as family members talked and sang to her in her final moments.  Selah defied the odds and opinions, as the doctors believed she would not survive more than a few minutes after birth.  The Lord gave us ten unforgettable hours with our beautiful baby girl and we are incredibly thankful for that time.  She was a little warrior and the strength and peace of God was upon her all the way to the end.  She had her mommy’s nose and lips and her daddy’s eyes.  We will never forget our perfect little angel. 

A public memorial service will be held in memory of Selah on Monday, November 5, 2012 at 6pm at Church Alive 5309 Umstead Road in Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina.  Please feel free to join us in wearing pink as we celebrate this memorable life.  The “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation” provided a volunteer photographer to record her short life with us.  In lieu of flowers, we would be pleased for you to support their mission to help other grieving parents through their remembrance photography at: The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation, 2305 E. Arapahoe Road, Suite 220 Centennial, Colorado 80122 or www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org .

Our Angel

Our sweet, beautiful Selah James went to be with Jesus this morning around one o'clock am after 10 and a half hours of fighting like a little warrior.  She passed away peacefully in her mommy's arms with the room full of our family and Pastor Laura.  We all stood around and were able to talk to her all the way to the end and give God praises for His true love for us and for her.  Selah continuously defied the odds that were against her little life and never gave up for one second.

One of our prayers leading into these last few weeks was that if it wasn't God's will to heal her completely, that we would at least get to hold her while she was alive for a few moments.  We prayed that she would not be stillborn and that she would be able to know her mommy and daddy's love for her over her short time on this Earth.  We know that the Father's love is so much stronger and bigger than we could ever fathom and so we're so glad that the Lord did not allow her to suffer for one minute and took her in the most peaceful way.  But we're also glad of the fact that we got to hold her against our skin and give her as much love as possible while she was with us.

The doctors never expected her to make it out of the operating room, but she showed all of us her incredible strength.  Over the 10 and a half hour period we experienced so many miracles.  God showed His face in every way imaginable.  We were able to hear her little whimpers and cries...things that we never knew we'd get to hear.  We were also able to read her a bedtime story just a few hours before she passed.  The room was full of tears as Brittany held her and I read "On the Night You Were Born," by Nancy Tillman.

Another blessing for us was being able to hold her in our arms, skin to skin.  She nestled against our chests and opened her eyes several times to look at us.  She has Brittany's nose and mouth and my eyes and eye brows (poor thing).  We even got to put some lip gloss on her perfect, little lips.  She looked like an angel the entire time and we know that she's in the arms of Jesus and not suffering through anything of this world anymore.

We can't thank you all enough for your support and prayers.  We truly felt the presence of God with us all day yesterday and even now.  There is an overwhelming sense of the Holy Spirit pouring its power over us and  flooding our hearts and the entire room with the love of Christ.  We never would have imagined that Selah's story would touch so many lives in such a short amount of time. Selah James Bennett will live well past her final breath on this Earth and we are so thankful for that.

Thank you all for your prayers and please continue to lift us all up in the coming days and weeks. Please remember, His ways are higher than ours and we submit to His will because He has aligned our steps and His love endures forever.  Rejoice in the Lord always!

Until next time, God bless you all.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Selah James Bennett, 6lbs. 14 oz., was born at 2:26pm this afternoon.  The procedure went very well.  Brittany was incredibly brave and strong throughout the entire surgery.  Selah's lungs are not functioning at full capacity, but she is still breathing on her own as of now.  The doctors came in this afternoon and did an ultrasound and that test revealed the absence of kidneys.  This prognosis, in and of itself, is a fatal prognosis. 

Mom and Dad are taking turns holding Selah and cherishing every second of this journey.  The ending outcome may not be what we want, but God continues to bless through so many not-so-tiny miracles.  The doctors never expected Selah to make it out of the OR, but here she is and it's just a testament of God's grace and the hundreds, if not thousands of prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf.

Thank you for your great support and continue to pray for our coming minutes and hours.  We will continue to give God the glory because that is what we're called to do and He is worthy of our praise.  We praise Him in the storm because He carries us through and will not forsake us. 

Packing and Praying

Brittany and I would like to take this opportunity to express our gratitude for all of the thoughts and prayers that people have offered up for us and for Selah during the last several weeks.  We have been completely humbled by the amount of people who have sent cards, called or sent texts, and/or sent Facebook messages to show their support and to encourage us in this most difficult time.  Our family, our church family, and our friends have been incredibly supportive, not to mention the people that we don't even know that have been so kind to us.  Our Pastor and his wife, Glenn and Laura Lee, have been incredible and we could never repay the blessings and pillars of strength and encouragement that they have been to us during this time.  We are so grateful to you all and we pray blessings over you and your families.

Ok...let me quickly share a humorous story from this past weekend.  As many of you know, I am a huge sports fan.  I have been since I can remember and I'm incredibly blessed to have a wife that will not only go along with my obsession, but will, at times, contribute to it.  My birthday was this past Monday and someone offered us free tickets to the Duke and Carolina football game on the Saturday before.  Brittany was well aware that I would love to go to the game so she "talked me into" going even though she was almost 9 months pregnant and feeling every day of it.  To make a long story short...it was a great game and Duke won in the final seconds, which of course made us both extremely happy.  And minutes later, for the first time during the course of our pregnancy, Selah kicked and Brittany could feel her moving around!  She hadn't kicked at anytime before this moment so I have officially deemed her a true Blue Devil.

Well, Monday is the day...we have a scheduled C-section with our specialist, Dr. Goodnight, and the team of doctors and nurses that have been taking care of Brittany and Selah for the past 7 months.  Obviously we are pretty anxious about what is to come.  However, we know that the Lord is in control and He will provide us with the strength that we need for whatever lies ahead.  We have waited what seems like years to meet our little girl and we can't wait to hold her for the first time.

As I said in my previous post, we are continuing to pray for a miracle.  But we know that God's ways are higher than our own.  Whether He heals her completely or she passes not long after she's born, His ways are perfect and He will see us through.  I told our church a few weeks ago that I would love nothing more than to walk my daughter to class on the first day of Kindergarten or walk her down the aisle on her wedding day.  We have so many dreams of her growing up and being a part of our everyday lives, but none of those things are better than her being with Jesus and that is all that matters.

The Lord created Selah for a purpose and aligned her journey to His will from the beginning.  If she serves a higher purpose by living for 30 minutes than she does by living for 80 years then so be it.  We know that our God is able to save her and we pray that He's willing, but if not, she is His child and we find comfort in the fact that she will not have to suffer through this world.  If she goes to be with Jesus, she will be completely healed of all the challenges that she might have had to face in this world.

We have been singing a worship song at church the last few months that has the line, "We wait for You...to walk in the room."  The song goes on to talk about the manifested presence of God and its glory.  Every time we worship to this song, that line brings tears to my eyes.  I have been praying and praying that God would walk into the room and change everything about Selah's situation.  But the other day the Lord reminded me that He's been in the "room" with us this whole time.  We couldn't have walked through these last 7 months if not.

Part of me feels grateful that the Lord has found us worthy enough to reflect His glory in this nightmare of a situation.  Sometimes it can be easy for us Christians to reflect God's glory when everything is going great and we're not walking through hardships.  But what is most important is how we reflect Him when we are walking through something that might be life altering.  I pray that the Lord finds us to be faithful to Him on this path that He has put us on.  We've gotten to praise Him and lift Him up during the good times, but now we get to praise Him and lift Him up in the hard times and I am so thankful for that.  1 Peter 4:13 "But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."

Finally, we wanted to share some details with everyone so that you could be specific in your prayers as you pray with us.  The C-section is scheduled for 12-noon on Monday so first and foremost please pray that the procedure goes well and as planned.  Pray for Brittany's health and guidance of the doctors as she endures this procedure.  Pray that God will heal Selah completely, but if not that He will shower us with His grace and comfort.  Pray for our family as they endure this with us.  And finally, pray against the spirit of fear as we go into this time, pray that we are strong and faithful to what God has entrusted to us.

Thank you again for your support, your thoughts, and your prayers.  They do not go unnoticed and we will forever be grateful for them.  Also, we are not sure who it will be, but someone will update this blog sometime next week, hopefully near the beginning of the week, even if it is a brief update.  We want to keep people informed so they can be as specific as possible in their prayers.  Thanks again and until next time...be blessed!

Selah James Bennett

The word "wait" takes on many different forms.  You can wait for your food.  You can wait for a call from that new job you've applied for.  You might even wait in line for the bathroom (HURRY!)  But the word "wait" has taken on a new meaning for Brittany and myself over the last couple of years.

After we got married we would throw out baby names for our future children...the brilliant kids they are to be.  We even had a running list that Brittany kept on her iPhone.  Before we even decided to begin "growing" our family, we must have had 10-15 baby names, both male and female.  While driving home from a vacation together, the name Selah popped into my head.  I had seen the word Selah in the Bible, but was not sure of it's meaning.  Let's just say...I now know what Selah "means".

Fast forward to March of this year, Brittany went for a routine check-up with her OB/GYN.  Little did we know that it would be the day that changed our lives forever.  The ultrasound technician pointed to the screen and said, "This is your baby."  Of course, this took Brittany by surprise and the tears starting falling.  We were already almost 7 weeks pregnant.  She quickly called me at work to tell me the good news and the only response I could muster on my end of the phone was, "Hallelujah!"  I do remember looking down at the new shoes I was wearing and thinking, "Well, these are the last 'new' shoes you're gonna have for good while."

We had about 4 weeks of complete bliss.  Brittany's OB sends all of her patients over to a specialist for a first trimester screening so at the 12 week mark we nervously headed to the specialist's office.  The ultrasound took what felt like hours and we could hardly stand waiting in that dark room and looking at a little blob on a little screen.  I couldn't make heads or tails of hardly anything on the screen.  I guess that's why you need a specialist.

After about an hour of silently staring at an ultrasound screen, the doctor informed us that the baby was still a little small to see everything, but that it looked like there was some abnormality around the lower spine area.  Of course we asked what this could mean and he informed us that worse case scenario it could be spina bifida.  Just in case you're not aware, spina bifida is an open neural tube defect, which is basically a hole in the spine.  This hole can cause many problems including, but not limited to: paralysis, uncontrollable bladder, mental handicaps, and clubbed feet.

For the next three weeks, we took two more trips to the doctor, prayed a thousand times, and cried at least a hundred.  Without going into too many details, we made the decision to visit a different OB/GYN, which as it would be, was right next door to our current one.  Dr. Brannon, an incredibly awesome man of God became our new doctor, but most importantly, our friend.  As a strong Christian, Dr. Brannon gave us very sound advice and comfort all at the same time.  He recommended a second opinion on the diagnosis of spina bifida and sent us to another specialist that he sometimes refers patients to in these situations.

Our new specialist and his team did another ultrasound and confirmed our worst fears.  Our baby (we also found out at this appointment that she was a SHE) did have spina bifida.  The world seemed to be crashing down around us.  Many things go through your mind when faced with such a life-altering situation.  Of course we shed many more tears and prayed many more prayers, but eventually we had to face the reality that our little girl had a very significant chance of having many handicaps and challenges throughout her life and that we had to make the most of it.

Since the final diagnosis and much thought and prayer on the subject, I have come to the conclusion that life is about more than whether you walk to your classroom on your first day of school or whether you ride in a wheelchair to your classroom on your first day of school.  I have realized that everyone has some issue that they have to walk through...some situation that may change everything about their life.  But our rock and steadfast hope is in the Lord.

After reading the report from the specialist, Dr. Brannon recommended we seek the help of UNC Hospital who specializes in open neural tube defects.  So we made the appointment and headed to the hospital a couple weeks later.  As part of the UNC program, we went through genetics counseling and then another ultrasound.  We met Dr. Goodnight and many of the fine people that would be helping us throughout this process.  After the ultrasound, we met with Dr. Goodnight in his office to discuss what they found.  When we walked into the room, we had no idea the news that was about to smack us right in the face.

Dr. Goodnight explained that the spina bifida was much worse than the original reports suspected.  The lesion was higher on the spine than other doctors thought.  To quickly explain...the higher up on the spine that the lesion is, the worse the prognosis.  He told us that our little girl would probably never walk.  He also told us that they suspected some type of chromosomal disorder as well.  The news continued to get worse.  Eventually, he told us that the baby's amniotic fluid was extremely low and this was a fatal diagnosis.

Low amniotic fluid indicates a problem in the development of the kidneys and/or the bladder.  Both her kidneys and bladder were not showing up on the ultrasound either because the fluid is too low to see them or because they are not working or because they have not developed at all. As a result of the low fluid, the baby's lungs will not develop enough for her to breathe on her own.  Many babies that have this diagnosis are stillborn and the majority of the rest live just a few hours.  Finally, Dr. Goodnight told us that he did not ever expect us to bring our baby home from the hospital.

As you can imagine, the following days have been very tough.  We had begun to understand more about spina bifida and were preparing to take it head on when our baby got here.  Taking in this news took another toll on us, but we believe that the Lord was preparing us for this news weeks before when we endured the news of the original diagnosis.  Bad days seem to come and go, but one thing that is constant is the strength that the Lord continues to give us as we walk through this.  

We are praying continuously for a miracle and will continue to do so until our baby gets here.  We know that the Lord has a plan through all of this, but it is hard to know what that plan is when you are living in something that is this real and devastating.  We continue to get encouragement and prayers from our friends and church family, but we feel that there is a deeper meaning in all of this and so we have decided to share it with everyone.  

God gave me the name Selah almost two years ago and we now know why.  The word "Selah" means to wait, to pause, and to praise the Lord.  Selah will be the name of our little girl because we have spent a tremendous amount of agonizingly waiting to see what the Lord will do in this situation.  We have also continued to praise God through all of this because no matter what happens, He is deserving of our praise.  

Please pray for Selah and us as we continue to walk through this tough season in our lives.  We will continue to update everyone through this blog so please stay tuned...